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' The Apple Game! v1.0
' (C) 2008 Innova and Kristopher Windsor
' Formerly known as "The Apple Naming Scheme in a Nutshell"
Const s_max = 10
#define i & s_next() &
#define i2 & s_next(-1) &
#macro story(s, t)
If Len(s) > 0 Then
Print
Print s;
Else
Print speaker;
End If
Print ":", t
Sleep
If Len(s) > 0 Then speaker = s
#endmacro
Dim Shared As Integer s_total, a, b
Dim Shared As String s(1 To s_max), s_in, speaker
Function s_next (Byval repeat As Integer = 0) As String
Static As Integer s_current
If repeat = 0 Then
s_current += 1
If s_current > s_total Then s_current = 1
End If
Return s(s_current)
End Function
Sub s_start ()
Print "Enter a sentence that has at least 10 words (without punctuation)"
Input s_in
'split into array
s_in = Trim(s_in)
Do
b = a
a = Instr(a + 1, s_in, " ")
If a = 0 Then a = Len(s_in) + 1
If s_total < s_max Then
s_total += 1
s(s_total) = Mid(s_in, b + 1, a - b - 1)
End If
Loop Until a = Len(s_in) + 1
'fix capitalization and add i
For a = 1 To s_total
s(a) = "i" & Ucase(Left(s(a), 1)) + Lcase(Right(s(a), Len(s(a)) - 1))
Next a
End Sub
s_start
story("Narrator", "Is that the best you could come up with?")
story("", "Well, let's go shopping...")
story("Title Bot", "- <[ The Day at the Apple Store ]> -")
story("", "- AKA, I talked to a fruity employee -")
'iPod
story("Salesman", "Welcome to Apple!")
story("", "Would you like an " i "?")
story("", "Or maybe an " i "?")
story("", "It holds " & Int(Timer * 10) & " songs and has a built-in sarcasm detector!")
story("Me", "No thanks.")
story("", "I actually came here to find out how much the 8TB " i " is.")
story("", "I already have the 6TB version...")
story("", "But I want this one since it plays Pong.")
story("Salesman", "We just got a new shipment of those half a minute ago!")
story("", "What color would you like? Black? White?")
story("", "Black?")
story("Me", "I was actually hoping more for #8888FF.")
story("", "(That's CSS for &HFF8888FF.)")
story("", "I'd also like to get the " i " while I'm here.")
'Mac Air
story("Narrator", "I hope this guy gets paid on commission!")
story("Salesman", "The " i2 "?")
story("", "We just replaced that with the " i2 " Mini!")
story("", "For only $3999, you get the thinnest model ever made!")
story("", "And it has a lava lamp on the other side of the LCD!")
story("Me", "How much RAM does it have?")
story("Salesman", "None, but you can leech RAM through Wi-Fi...")
story("", "From another computer!")
story("", "And for $39.99 / month...")
story("", "You can subscribe to wirelessly use the Pentagon's video cards!")
story("Me", "Great! I'll take one!")
story("", "I also heard Steve made a new " i "?")
'iPhone
story("Salesman", "Yes - the display even rotates when the device does!")
story("Me", "So how can you use it while being hung by your legs?")
story("Salesman", "The next software upgrade has an option for that...")
story("", "It also lets you put a shortcut to that setting...")
story("", "Right on the home screen!")
story("Me", "Will the " i2 " make me more attractive?")
story("Salesman", "Of course!")
story("", "Especially among blind and deaf people!")
story("", "Just ask our marketing committee!")
'iRumors
story("Store TV", "_This_ just in!")
story("", "Rumors have circulated that Apple is expected...")
story("", "To release a new product named the " i ".")
story("", "Reports are not confirmed, but it will cost $499...")
story("", "And be filed as Patent No. " & Int(Rnd * 1E12) & "...")
story("", "With an expected release date of 8:17 AM sometime next month.")
story("Me", "Wow, I want one of those!")
story("", "It sounds as good as the " i ", but is $50 less!")
'iTunes
story("Telephone", "*Ring* *Ring*")
story("Salesman", "Hello? Your " i " isn't running smoothly?")
story("", "Your computer is 2 months old?")
story("", "These are modern times, sir...")
story("", "We don't support such antiques. Try upgrading.")
story("Telephone", "*Click*")
story("Salesman", "Next in line!")
story("Me", "iThink iLl iLeave iNow.")
story("Salesman", "Goodbye! Come back soon to see our " i " and " i " products!")
story("Door", "*Slam*")
'conclusion
story("Narrator", "Congratulations! You escaped!")
story("Score Bot", "You get +1000 points for surviving...")
story("", "Which gives you the high score!")
story("", "You get eternal fame, and a fee of $4399 for playing.")
story("", "In conclusion...")
story("Music Bot", "*Plays suspenseful music*")
story("", "Are you ready for Level 2?")
story("Narrator", "- The End -")
'credits
story("Credits Bot", "- Credits -")
story("", "Narrator - Kristopher Windsor")
story("", "Telephone - Mel Blanc")
story("", "Store TV - Anonymous Newspaper Columnist")
story("", "Salesman - Crazy Eddie")
story("", "Me - Uncle Sam")
story("EOF Bot", "Press any key to continue...")